Catalan independence movement

As I wrote a few years ago about the tug of war between Catalonia and Spain as well as the use of the Catalan and Spanish languages in this area, I thought I would give an update on the situation.   Previous posts:  catalonia2 and catalonia1

The independence movement in Catalonia has grown in the past year and just might have a majority, slightly over 50% of the people in favor of breaking away from Spain.

There are two types of secessionists in Catalonia:  the nationalists and people who think independence would result in a better life.

The first group I mention is always more or less for Independence, 25% on a beautiful day, up to 35%+ on a bad rainy day.  This is most likely the latter nowadays.  Recent surveys have shown a paradox in the use of the Catalan language in the region.  More people than ever (more than 90%) understand the language and can use it.  Around 75% can also speak it.  Besides more audio-visual material, be it books, translations, internet use, TV, movies, radio, has also increased dramatically in the last few years.  However, on the flipside, actual daily use is down.  People with Catalan as a mother tongue has decreased to a historic low, 35%, and it is said that more than 70% of conversations in Catalonia are in Spanish.  Plus within Catalan, the use of a lighter version mixed with Spanish is also commonplace.  As such linguistics predict that within the midterm future if nothing changes Catalan will not die, just melt into Spanish as a regional form of it.

In this atmosphere, the new government of Spain has striven to re-centralize the region.  Since the Supreme court has made null and void most of the laws making Catalan the preferred language of Catalonia, they have pushed reform to reintroduce Spanish into the school system and set up a 50-50 quota between Catalan and Spanish in all areas.  The idea they propose is simple:  people should be able to use whenever they choose whichever of the official languages.  In light of the studies, nationalists now believe that Catalan language and culture cannot survive without independence.  This group also surmises that the central government actually aspires for it to die.

Besides language use, the Spanish rightist government of the Partido Popular has enacted many other laws to effectively undermine the large autonomy granted to the region in the 1990's.  They aim to take backs rights given by previous administrations to Catalonia and other regions.  The reason is the economic crisis the whole nation has been suffering since 2008.  Apparently, there was a lot of corruption in autonomous areas where budgets were misused for grandiose projects and a frenzy of building that never ended up benefiting anyone.  Laws became vastly different from one region to another.  The politicians in one area or another were of different political nature and this added to a culture of mutual contempt and little desire for cooperation or harmonization in policies.  At times shady deals between ministers and private companies and assumed embezzlement into Swiss bank acccounts were almost commonplace. Meanwhile the past central government turned a blind on this situation.  Nowadays, however,  fueled by the demands of Europe, Mariano Rajoy is striving to cut expenses drastically and abolish privileges that had come to be considered as rights of the people.

Catalonia, arguably the richest region in Spain, was hit hardest be the crisis.  Many jobs in industry and service have been lost.  Expenses here are at the highest.  Promoting the Catalan language is expensive.  Consider just the subsidies given to entities sponsoring the language as well as to the film industry to dub and subtitle movies for use in Catalonia.  The social network is also more highly developed here than in the rest of Spain. The result was bankruptcy and a bailout by the Spanish government that was not unconditional.  Cutbacks in Catalonia are the highest, re-centralization is de rigueur, and taxes have risen.  Protests are frequent and the response of the Spanish government is "Too bad!  Our way or the highway!"

The nationalists have promoted the idea that their nation has been invaded by Madrid, and is bleeding it dry. If Catalonia is suffering in spite of being the richest region and other regions in Spain aren't, the reason is simple. Spain has unfairly taken all their money through taxation and budget allowances, then unbelievably forces them to beg for a piece of it back, just so it can humiliate hardworking Catalans.  And to boot, it insults their languages and revokes their inalienable rights to govern themselves as a people. Politicians show the new highway system in Madrid and the high speed rail linking Madrid, Valencia, Seville and Galicia as pilfering their money for others' comfort.  Besides, other poorer regions have balanced their budgets in recent times despite their lack of industry and/or dependence on agriculture.  All in all a percentage of non-nationalists have been convinced that Madrid is the enemy and that Catalonia could make it better alone if it didn't have to pay Spain tribute or be submitted to its laws.  Even the idea that Spain hates Catalonia and has planned to kill it has made inroads.  But, imagine the prosperity that freedom could bring!

At the present time a game of chicken is being played out.  After Madrid refused to change its policy and offer Catalonia a new tax system it splitting resources, the nationalist leader Artur Mas called for new elections on an independence platform.  Surprisingly he lost support but still managed to claim victory after forming a coalition government with other leftist, more radical secessionists.  He has vowed not to comply with a number of the new Spanish laws, including the ones enforcing the use of Spanish or demanding more cutbacks and plans to hold a referendum on independence one way or another.  Madrid, however, pledges to force him to comply.  As per referendums, the Spanish constitutions forbids them and declares Spain to be united and loyal to its king.  They will suspend autonomy and take direct control of the region if needed.  This has already happened in the past in the Basque country, so it is not without precedent.  Artur Mas, in the meantime, says he's up for a fight, in Spain, in Europe, in the Hague, at the UN, wherever.  Using the metaphor of a ship, he states that it is better to fight the armada and lose then end up wrecked on the rocks.

Stay tuned for what happens next!
  

Floating between tu and vous

Last week, a colleague in the staff room where teachers have coffee between classes, floored me by using the dreaded "vous" word with me. Why so dreaded you say? Well, according to my calculations he is most definitely part of the group of people who should have said "tu" to me. We are about the same age, do the same job, are on a first name basis and everyone else we mutally know say "tu" to one other and to us. When this situation occurs, I become literally paralyzed. I don't feel comfortable asking this guy why he decided to "vouvoie" me after all. I guess I could have chosen to answer him with "tu", but I don't like forcing the issue either. And just what if after using "tu" he insisted on saying  "vous" to me? Could he get offended by my "tu" and make a fuss out of it? Women here seem to have it much easier. Some quite naturally would have called him out on it. The trick works like this: "Hey there, use only 'tu' with me! You hear! I'm not your granny. Ha ha." Literally this kind of situation cuts the wind out of me. Out of principle, I just simply will not answer with "vous". I cringe at the thought. I take this situation like someone throwing icy cold water on me on a winter's day. When "vous" is unexpected, it makes a statement: "Notice there is a clear barrier between us. I don't want your friendship and keep your conversation on a professional level. Then go away. Got that?" As a result, addressing him felt really awkward as I resorted to the third person just to avoid saying "you". I was hoping so much for someone else, anyone else to come into the room so I could use the plural you. Luckily in French -- contrary to Spanish, Italian or German-- in the plural there is no difference. Needless to say our conversation came to an abrupt end. If he had wanted to create distance, that's a big "if", it certainly worked. I won't be talking to him again any time soon.

Strangely enough in my life now there are quite a few people floating between "tu" and "vous". In these cases I cannot clearly assign them a category. I have noticed there is considerable hesitation going on in both directions. When I see one of these individuals, I rush to ask them first the omnipresent "Bonjour! Ca va? - how's it going question?" because if they ask it to me first I then have that terrible burden of answering "fine,and you?", which means I have to choose "tu" or "vous"! Actually we go to incredible lengths not to have to make the choice. The "royal we" works splendidly, the general "one" too, we also mysteriously include friends, family and/or coworkers --all of whom are not present -- into the formula just to be able to get to those safe plural forms. "What are you guys in the technical department up to? Did you all have a good lunch?" If it becomes really bothersome to handle anymore, it's also possible to search out a third person to bring into the picture; a person who says "tu" to both of you. That will work to tip the balance. For example, if I accompany a certain lady I know to the technical department some day I'm sure I'll come out using "tu" with all of them. Mission accomplie.

As I'm writing I'm feeling more mift at that colleague in the staff room. There's no reason why he should have come out with that damn "vous"!

I must say, I'm not by any means against "le vouvoiement" though. I have an excellent rapport with two elderly ladies who I will always say "vous" to. Yes, similarly I'm on a first name basis with both of them, yet since they are of a certain generation and social class, besides they pay me to teach them English, I know our "vous" is permanent. I'm totally fine with that too! When Lily pours me tea, smiles and asks me with "vous" if I want one lump of sugar or two, it sounds so delightful and sweet.

In complete contast, all my bosses use "tu" with me without exception and have so since the very first day. They never gave me any choice in that matter. Despite the kisses on the cheeks every time we see each other followed by 5 "tu's" in a row, we are far from having an intimate relationship. I don't even want to socialize with them! The idea I guess is that all people working in a certain organizational structure form a "family" bond so they must use "tu" together.

Besides that, I don't mind using "vous" with students, anyone in any kind of administrative capacity, or authority figures. That feels right to me. It's obvious I don't want them to get too familiar with me. I celebrate the thickness of those walls. I also believe there are some contexts where a little bit of respect is more than welcome.

Further I'm afraid of Freudian slips. I have a tendency to drift ever so naturally to "tu" without wanting to. I've been known to be talking in "vous" and for some strange reason switch to "tu" in the middle of a sentence. This can even be with someone I must definitely "vouvoyer". I hear it immediately when it comes out but then it's way too late. The damage has been done. Obviously that immediately puts the other person on the spot. They do have to decide whether or not to follow into "tu" or reaffirm their opposition with a clearly audible "vous". I've had both happen. At least after that moment, it's clear where you're headed... The other day when I said good bye to a certain nurse I used "tu". A real "faux pas". There is absolutely no justified reason why I should have permitted myself to use "tu" with her. Using "tu" when you shouldn't implies you have no respect for someone nor the job they do. Mind you, all insults in French are with "tu"! I regretted my "tu" immediately. It just blurted out of my mouth. I saw in her eyes she didn't know to handle this. She avoided addressing the issue, smiled and walked away. It'll be interesting to see what happens next time. I'm going to make sure I say "Bonjour. Ça va?" first. I bet she answers with "vous"!

Finally what prompted me to write about this issue right now is what occurred tonight. Out of the blue "Laurent" the owner of a restaurant I frequent started using "tu". It was really unexpected. After that, everyone connected to him magically followed his example with "tu" all around. I wonder if I should feel honored or offended. He did force it on me and I am his customer! Yet, I have a warm feeling about it. I totally felt the barriers falling down around me.

Compare the waiter with my colleague experience. I scratch my head in bewilderment!

In school we learn that are precise rules governing when you have to use "vous" and "tu" in French. Unfortunately, in my experience there is absolutely no logic to it. In reality, much of the time there are substantial grey areas that are more or less uncomfortable. After ten years in France I still have not cracked the code.

Copyright 2012 Merquiades

Resolutions for 2012 and adieu to wordreferencing

Hey cyber people. I appreciate the emails from people asking me where I have been and why I stopped writing. I'm so sorry but I do have an excuse. I became addicted to something worse than cocaine and heroine combined. It's also embarassing since I've been one of the harshest critics of all those guys who get hooked on some kind internet-wide science fiction game where 50,000 people combat forces of evil (literally each other) senselessly day and night for 7 months.

Anyway the doldrums of our 8 month winter in northern France led me to discover the wordreference forums, the greatest thing for language buffs since the invention of the bilingual dictionary. There are thousands of people from all over the word creating threads on vocabulary, idioms, translations, linguistics, grammar in any language in the world. Got a doubt, it will be resolved. Literally, wordreferece offered to me on a silver platter everything I ever wanted to know about language but never knew I did. The site is amazing. I guess it's like putting a little boy in an endless warehouse full of toys when previously the poor thing only got one little tiny gift each year for Christmas. Moreover he gets instant playmates who strangely enough do not find his interests so weird at all! Who knew he was not alone in the world? He thought he was odd for being excited about the imperfect subjunctive!

Unfortunately, sooner or later Wordreferencing becomes hell. 24 hours a day is not enough time to spend on this site. There are ten subject discussions being created about every minute, many of which you know something about, others maybe not, but all are interesting enough to read and comment on. Members are actually encouraged to give answers on everything too. As they say, we are all participating in the creation of the biggest language encyclopedia in history. It must be perfectly complete for posterity. As such, in the celebration section, members are constantly being given awards. Mr. Salamander wrote his 10,000th post today! Hurray! Tomorrow, is Miss Crumpets birthday so we've made this new thread just for her! She wanted to know the names of all Russian cakes, so here we go! Yay!

For some unknown reason, members get promoted to the status of Moderator. This gives them endless power to wield over other members. Mods get to enforce the WR rules and can comment on all posts or eliminate them at will! And beware! They can also choose to ban you forever from the form too. Soon you will get those private messages from mods asking you to prove this and that detail about yourself, or to admonish you for breaking continually rule number 16, one you never knew existed, and quite honestly it is of so little relevance to anything in daily life, it's absolutely pathetic.
Members also flock together in small little cliques called tagger groups. You see them waiting to pounce on anyone who enters into their circle. Worse yet, they often have blind conviction in their philosophy and will shun posters who dare to disagree. For example, a shocker and breaker for members of XX group are the circumstances in which interrogative words such as "dónde" "cómo" "cuándo" should or should not bear an accent mark!? Say what? Some gangs will kill for principles won't they? Other times groups just take offence to your mere presence in a forum you haven't been invited to. That's not a rule, by the way. Just imagine for a moment that a native French speaker goes into the German-Spanish forum and dares to comment on the best translation of a proverb from one language into another. Be you right or wrong, excuse me, but who invited you to our German-Spanish party? You'll find these mods particular harsh as they try any way possible to get rid of you. Ha ha ha!

In a nutshell, wordreferece can be great... but it has all the inconveniences of an addiction to a recreational drug, plus the hurt of a high school dance where you can't sit at a certain table or run for homecoming king... just because... that's the way it is, mate. Finally it turns into senseless clicking on a machine far worse than a game boy because... face it... you are just mechanically refreshing the same site over and over again... hoping for who knows what... a new translation? Winning some stupid dispute about grammar? Getting an honor? But guess what? Guess what? You'll be answered when and if the someone decides to carry on, and only if a mod or a clique or someone else don't zap you out. Certainly, it's just another clear example of a terrible second reality addiction just waiting to prey on someone living in a dark northern rainy and sad climate where Persephone has been damned to Hades until April at least. I admit I succombed...

Yet, now I'm free. I sent wordreferencing to hell and deleted their cookies from my hard drive. Yes!! I've got an extra two hours per day. So, now I can get back on track and start writing again. It's going to be more free-style impromptu writing this time. I've seen writing too much as a task to refine and polish, which is a major deterent. It must be fun! Anyway, these are my two of my resolutions for 2012.

Happy holidays people, I'm back! Enjoy yourselves! I wish you all the best for the new year. Then get on your resolutions too!

Can work be fun?

Find a job you love and you are good at and you'll never work one day in your life.
If it is true that work can be fun, it certainly is not my case. In October I will teach over 80 hours in one establishment or another. Yes, I need to work to make ends meet and I need those hours. The fact is there is no or little work to be done between June and October teaching English in France. Plus, I did so much traveling during that time period too. The result is I am in debt. October and November will be hellish months for me, and I add that fortunately work is abundant in the Fall. People call me everyday pleading for me to take on another class, another pupil, another preparation. Yes, teaching in France (if you aren't a fonctionnaire) is a helluva rollercoaster. You either have way too much or nothing at all. Go figure!
So I'll bite the bullet. Until Christmas there will not be much blogging, little reading, little amusement, no socializing, no philosophizing, and not much deep thinking will be going on. No movies, no parties either. My life will go on hold for a while. I'll wake up, eat breakfast, teach 3 hours, have lunch, teach 3 hours, take a snack, teach a few more hours, dine, some days teach even more, and drink thousands of cups of coffee. I'll prepare classes on Sunday, and start all over again the following week. Wish me luck!
I hate this time period. Fall is the time I descend into hell for living it up in the Summer. Yes, I know I'm ranting and raving. Maybe it'd be better if the classes were actually enjoyable. Unfortunately, the work is piled on everyone, so no one wants to be there or participate.
By the way. Happy Columbus day! C.C. didn't discover America by aimless ritual. In the end, though I do like the long Summers this rollercoaster is not healthy. There will be slight plunge in the winter again and it will rev up once more in March and April just to start dwindling off towards Summer.

Catalan is not preferential 2

Update:

On the street in Barcelona Spanish is the lingua franca. This is now true even in the historic Catalan neighborhoods like Gracia and Sarrià. Spanish now has the advantage despite the afforementioned laws enforcing/imposing Catalan in the government, the public and private sectors, the media and public schooling. Most of the people in Barcelona are not driven by nationalism, language or culture more than in any other city in Spain. There is ambivalence to speaking in Catalan or Spanish. I heard quite often "lo mismo da", more or less "who cares". This of course is in stark contrast to the regional parliament that promotes rigourously the language and independence of Catalonia.

As for TV, there are at least 10 spanish channels for 1 catalan. Pretty much the same for the press, books, films, video games and music.... The reason is simple: they come into Catalunya from Madrid, where there is, of course, no language rules or quotas.

All in all I have mixed feelings, indeed. I celebrate the openness of the Catalan people, the visible lack of nationalism, the solidarity with the rest of Spain, and the continued use of Spanish. I was fearing a very different scenario. However, I am sad that Catalan continues to decline. I love Catalan and speak it pretty fluently. I can certainly see how its use is diminishing. I'm sure this is the reason for the rigid laws they have passed and the calls for independence by the nationalists in parliament. This is obviously the wrong way to promote Catalan. Outside Catalonia, Catalan is seen as the agressor. In Barcelona, it also contributes to the creation of this atmosphere of "Catalan, Spanish, whatever!" In reality, there is a serious threat to Catalan's survival. A recent survey indicated that only 33% speak it daily. Find another way. Strong arming has failed.
Rontay Merquiades

Catalan is not preferential

The complex love and hate relationship between Catalonia and Madrid has existed for centuries. Madrid represents Spanish language, Castilian culture, central goverment, old-fashioned magistrates, congress, business, and any type of regulation or central control. Madrid is in the exact geographic center of Spain (kilometer 0) from which all distances are measured. In short, for a Catalan nationalist, it's everything that holds Catalonia back and keeps it in check. Madrid is that lead weight that keeps Catalonia and the Catalan people from excelling. The parent with that strong hand! Of course, as with any type of nationalism, their ideas are debatable and completely subjective. Outside Catalonia, Catalans (the nationalists) are seen as cry babies, marginalized victims of nothing, knit pickers, people who say "no" when everyone else says "yes" and viceversa... all just to create chaos whenever and wherever possible, and of course, to be different. Now, truth be told, and I have thought about this for quite a long time, both sides are right. Madrid is insensitive and Catalonia/ Barcelona is often a bit senseless.

The twentieth century was not kind to Catalans. Two brutal dictators (with a civil war between them) targeted the catalans as subversive and worked hard to break their will and destroy their language and culture. For example, two anecdotes... the famous architect, Antoni Gaudi, was arrested and jailed for speaking Catalan in public and if children spoke Catalan in school they were told they were "barking like dogs" and punished. No way to overstate this people's suffering up until 1975, when democracy returned to Spain after a long absence. A legacy remains though: immigration was encouraged from other regions (nowadays countries worldwide)and ethnic Catalans became a minority in the cities. For example, 55% of Barcelona's population do not have Catalan origins. Needless to say, it's as common to dance flamenco as sardanas, eat tortilla as butifarra, and more conversations are in Castilian Spanish than Catalan.

Democracy brought back autonomy, a renaissance in Catalan culture and language occurred. Who hasn't heard of the artistic marvels in Catalonia! Similarly there is a thriving theater, literature, and music scene. Catalonia slowly but surely has won more and more autonomy from Madrid, especially during the 4 term reign of the legendary Catalan nationalist Jordi Pujol. As the legend says, give an inch take a mile, give an inch take another mile. The policy of favoring Catalan also intensified. The regional government justified imposing Catalan in the following way: Simple bilingualism favors Castilian as people feel they can choose freely one language and completely ignore the other. In the long run, Catalan cannot compete with a world language like Spanish and would have a slow bitter death due to bilingualism. Moreover, Catalan is only spoken in Catalonia, so if it's not favored there, where will it be? Therefore, Catalan has become the de-facto sole official language of Catalonia (even though officially the constitution stipulates it is co-official with Castilian Spanish). All schooling, street signs, government deliberations and publications, public services, tv, radio, etc. are in Catalan. There are language policemen enforcing this policy and issue fines against businesses and individuals who do not use Catalan. The push toward Catalan has caught the attention of other Spanish regions and political parties, reporters, and some celebraties or writers who have denounced the Catalan language policy as discriminatory against other peoples in Spain. Also such a large autonomy in general is seen as a long-term threat to Spanish unity.

Well, today the Supreme Court in Madrid has bitten back and imposed limits to the regional government. It took them four long years to debate the Catalan statute, point by point, and they finally came to an agreement to what extent they should change it and/or sanction it. So, they corrected the Catalan statute ruling that "Catalan is the normal but definitely not preferential language of Catalonia". What does that mean and how will that change the language policy? I'd like to know! Likewise, the court stated 15 times that Spain was indivisible. Also that the symbols of Catalonia (flag, emblem, song) do not have anything but symbolic meaning. Moreover, Catalonia cannot be considered a nation but just a group of people living in Spain like Castilians, Andalusians, Aragonese etc. The judicial system will also be controlled directly from Madrid. All in all 14 articles of their statute were changed or abolished.

Look for the catalan nationalists to be in an uproar! They already felt they had compromised too much and that their autonomy was not large enough. Now, technically things should change, but I am not sure how???

Just one last observation if by chance someone is reading this post, ignorant of the Catalan situation. Una última observación si la persona que lee este post ignora la situación del catalán (Spanish). Una última obervació si la persona que llegeix aquest post ignora la situació del català (Catalan). They are sister languages and any native speaker of one can learn the other easily perhaps in just a year of intense, albeit sincere study. So, on the one had, the Canada or Belgium situation is not comparable as it is possible to pick up Catalan quickly. On the other, the difference is what justifies their otherness, their nationalism, and the self-determination.

More on this when I visit Barcelona in August
Rontay

Update January 2011: Spanish courts have just interpreted the Supreme Court's ruling as meaning Catalan and Castilian should be 50%-50%, that should mean the Catalan immersion in schools and language fines should come to an end.

ESL in France, j'accuse

Have you ever met someone who studied a language for 3 years in high school and doesn't remember a word? Well, in the context of France it's more like 12 years and remembering 10 words. That language, of course, tends to be English. English is now introduced as an option to 7 year-olds. Before that as early as 5, you can even find schools offering "language sensitivity", wherby pupils learn some English through osmosis. Yes, English is a BIG business in France from the cradle to the grave. A whole ministry of national education has vowed to get everyone to become bilingual or trilingual. And I guess it is crucial for talking to people from other European countries who nowadays almost always prefer English to French, German, Russian or any other European language. So literally there are millions of opportunites for ESL in France. You want a job you can find one.
Yette uuuh, een spat of old, nobadiie sames two now eat. (translation: Yet, in spite of it all, nobody seems to know it). If you don't know French no way to understand their English. But there is worse, much much worse! I teach the GOOD students in elite private colleges.

I've had a lot of time to mill this over this complete failure in language training. I've taught at university to majors and minors, and to the others who have it as a mandatory subject in their curriculum (engineers, nurses, psycholgists, literature and math majors, architects, law students... you name it). I've taught children of every age, teenagers, adults in continuing education, also night classes, day classes and those so-called seminars to professionals (bankers, lawyers, businessmen) all seemingly urgently needing to learn it. You name the group, I've had them. Soooo. What's wrong?

Well, first of all, no one takes it that seriously. Studying: well after they've done everything else they need or don't need to do; listening to English: class is good enough, if not 'dubbed movies, series' are much better! really they are!; reading: say what?; writing: well, they laugh, throw their head back and say that writing in French is hard enough; pronounciation: didn't you know- they say- strong French accents are sexy! ... English is not so discreetly seen as less important than any other subject at school (even gym): importance, or as the say coefficient, is 0, whereas math is like worth 10. Also in school, there is basically a pass/fail system, no grading like A,B,C,F or its equivalent etc... and to fail, really you need to be wrong on a test almost half of the time, missing 49% of the vocab, verbs, comprehension,...everything. Put all of this together (no grading, no worth compared to other subjects, no interest) and English really is not so crucial at all. From the age of 10, they know it... So passing notes, talking to neighbors, playing with cellphones, doing crosswords, zoning out (children as well as 40 year-old adults) is fine and dandy in English class.... It's l'exception. Finally, add the long fall, winter, spring, summer breaks, and the fact that the principals, directors,heads schedule English in 2 or 3 hour blocks usually on Friday afternoon (very pedagogical I might add) and the result is that year after year, the students are passed on to the next level knowing zilch.

Second, the methods made by the experts hired by L'éducation nationale defy, or appear not to acknowledge anything I have said in the preceding paragraph. Their methods, exercises, exams and texts for high school (so just imagine college!) are so difficult they come systematically with keys because teachers and native speakers cannot figure them out. Students consistently read 19th century British literature like the Brontë sisters, translate Shakepearian sonnets from English to French, have vocabulary lists with words I have never heard of, and fill in exercises to distinguish'--say --start from begin, and too from also... And by the way, they learn by heart transition words like "to my mind" or "evermore" but still cannot answer a simple question like "how are you?". With every poem on the traumas of the American Civil War written in dialect and essay on "how to distinguish dipthongs from tripthongs", the hatred of English grows and the vow not to learn it. Most French people say in the same sentence that learning English is important, but taking classes is pointless

Finally, everything I have stated is obvious for anyone. Nevertheless, there is no appetite to change this or anything else in France. Many of my classes have been a sham!, an silent understood entente cordiale between administration, students and myself. It goes a bit like this: to the administration: "I will apply the program you have. It really sucks and no one will learn anything with it. You know that too. However, I will apply it and smile"; to the students: "don't cause me problems and I'll give you the correct mark to pass you on to the next level, whatever that is. I know you'd rather be anywhere else, than here and doing this, but we cannot help it. I won't betray your secret that you have learnt 0. And when I pass you, the administration will celebrate it, will be acclaimed by the "beautiful people" in high up places, and you on might go on to get good jobs somewhere. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll get a raise....

Funny enough I might meet adults years later in professional seminars who have come out of this education process, and it's still the same old song: fake class, fake studies, fake method, fake knowledge, fake progress. Then... you recommend me, I'll recommend you. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

The moral of our story: Beware of Frenchment with 15 years of English.

Rontay

A ticket to France

Talking to my friend, Heidi, we reflected on what it means to be an American floating in France. Some days I really feel like a sociologist! Yes, some kind of Margaret Mead trying to understand the intracacies of this culture. How is it possible not to get the simplest task done, or spend seven days, months or years on projects and never get any further along. Heck, sometimes you can't even get the tiniest cup of coffee.

Americans grow up in a culture where we are taught that the ticket to success is hard work. The open, articulate, nice guy with a head on his shoulder usually gets what he wants, deserves, needs. Smile to that waiter and you get that coffee lickety split. Work yourself through college and you'll find that job, your reward that you justly merit... Summa Cum Laude. Phi Beta Kappa. Become partner in that firm. We also, okay this time maybe it's just the naive Midwesterner, believe that people are good and fair at heart. People are to be on an equal footing, people should have equal opportunities, people don't get turned away for unjustified reasons, your neighbor is no better off, no worse off than you are. Grrr.. that sounds so idealistic. But maybe I've been in France for too long.

In France, if you go into a café alone, where you do not know the waiter, the owner or any of the other customers, don’t expect to be served. It’s nothing personal, but why should the waiter care? He might never see you again. You are creating work for him and there is no incentive, good or bad, for him to take you serious. He can blow you off if he chooses. At the very least, he’ll attend to all the other customers who probably have some status with him or give into his desire to go smoke a cigarette, eat an olive or talk on his cellphone before taking your order. It’s cut and dry. Nothing you can say or do will change this. It’s up to him. You can try to charm him, just maybe it’ll work, but forget insistence, a sense of entitlement, or the big smile.


The worst thing about being a foreigner is you are often alone, often go into unknown stores, restaurants and cafés, and often need to rely on the kindness of strangers to find your way, get an apartment, find a job. Yes, I’m afraid our coffee metaphor extends throughout the country, adapting to every possible known context, official or unofficial, you could ever imagine. It’s flabbergasting. There are several words for it: the ticket, the piston (link), the connection, the old network. Choose your favorite. But, the foreigner is at a clear disadvantage because by nature he knows no one. Frenchmen have mothers, fathers, grandpas, uncles’ best friend’s wife’s brother’s friends, fellow first grader’s cousin’s sister, old teacher’s nephew-in-law… well, that’s the ticket. Honestly, it could be blackmail too.. also a lot of “I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine”. A Frenchman when looking for an apartment on the Left Bank automatically thinks of who or what connection, what way, what combination can get him access to that dream pad at the cheapest price possible? Who can get him that job he’s not qualified for? Who can get him into that popular club, concert, restaurant? Maybe a discount? How can I get an appointment to see that goddam eye doctor? How can I get those designer shoes for half price? Get that authorization to do this or that? Yes, it’s unfair. Especially since everyone in France will tell you this is not the case... It’s the country of liberté, égalité, fraternité with very set rules, laws, equal opportunity and no discrimination, and you, the foreigner, have just not done something right. Honestly, someone could become bitter if they think about it too much and don’t try to use the system to their advantage. I really do understand the 2005 riots in the immigrant suburbs in Paris. Those people have no tickets and will be forever denied jobs, houses, diplomas, information, services, coffees.

Anyway, tickets have been both a blessing and a curse in my life. I’ve got 1000 euros worth of books for my thesis for 100 euros because I had a friend who had a friend whose father was manager of a big bookstore in Paris. Virtually every job I have every got in France has been through connections. Some of them weren’t even advertised. My current employer got my name through a doctor and never bothered to interview me or read my resume. At one time I was able to claim state benefits I didn’t qualify for because the husband of my friend’s sister worked there. A good word from someone important got me a permanent green card. Today, a supermarket clerk I met at a party regularly forgot to scan some of my groceries. The owner of a restaurant I regularly go to gets me the best table and doesn’t charge me for dessert. Further, another advantage has been the wonderful trips to Provence, Charente, and Paris my contacts have afforded me. To show how far a ticket can go, an acquaintance of mine managed to get a friend with connections to lay a free marble floor for him and that same guy later got a job by having someone falsify a diploma he didn’t actually get from university! Another girl, got a huge apartment overlooking the river in a swanky area of this town for 140 euros rent per month, you cannot get a closet for that in France. Know someone in a labor union also apparently opens up lots of doors. They can get you enormous benefits.

On the flip side, not having certain connections have really hurt me. For instance, I spent 10 years to become qualified for a tenured post at a university. The rules stipulate a long, long process whereby you have to move not just one, but several mountains. I’m not exaggerating here. And I’m proud I did it. I was not daunted. I achieved it through a lot of hard work and patience, and obtained the certificate to prove it. BUT, do I have that post? No. Will I ever get a post? No. 99% sure. The fact is that I’ve got no ticket whatsoever into that academic world, and I should have known better to believe that system worked otherwise. I was naïve. I’ve also been living in the same goddamn studio for too many years cause I’ve got no connection there either. And having a career and living in nice surroundings are important! Actually, part of my reticence to move to another city in France is losing all my contacts and starting over again, alone, and living even worse. That’s difficult anywhere in the world but in France, where you literally need people to vouch for you, it’s difficult.

In general, I suppose I am resigned to make the best of this system, whether I like it or not. I have an American background, so I would prefer getting things done quickly through self-resilience, skill and kindness. Will I ever get fed up? Well, just maybe… But, it’s great to get a new ticket. For me, it doesn’t happen every day, but when it does, it’s wonderful. I could probably do better but I don’t work at it. It’s against my nature. I suppose some of the mystery and charm of France comes from its weird logic it's taken me so long to unravel.

That´s the ticket!

My advise, live your life as normal, follow your instincts, maybe you’ll have a pleasant surprise, but, in general, don’t expect much from French people if you don’t have a "piston". Rontay

Oh là là!

There is a little expression in French that every frog uses hundreds of times daily. An expression that has no real translation to English. "On là là!" I guess in theory it could be positive or negative, but in my experience it's usually negative and I dread it. It can have the connotation of "Oh my gawd!" "Oh wow!" "This is unbelievable" to "Damn it!" "Get out of here!" "No way" or maybe even "you're just too weird and i don't like this situation here with you here and now!" Case in point, when you took a month to put together one of those 20 document, 100 signature files for a governmental organization and the burocrat ushering you into his-her office looks at the clock and says "oh là là" or else opens up the file taking out every document then shakes his head saying "oh là là", you're in for it! This means there's something terribly wrong and he considers you a problème. When you go into a bakery shop to buy a croissant, give a 10 euro bill and expect change. The boulangère steps back, takes a deep breath and lets it rip "Oh là là!" You can just feel the contempt. Ask anyone in the street for simple directions and you'll probably get it too. Reading it can be tricky though (You moron, you don't where the préfecture is! or maybe "Get out of my face" or "you are sooo.. weird" or "my time is precious" but I suppose it could also be "how the hell am I going to explain this!) Recently, I show up at a meeting to discuss the garbage problem in the neighborhood, and after being introduced to someone in my building, it happens, no nothing to do with the dumpsters which would have been more logical but because he found out I was American. "Oh là là là là". With all the meanings I just gave you, what do you think it could have meant, dear reader? Well, I'm just saying, avoiding the gd "Oh là là" in Frane is like the plague. I can even predict it nowdays. The person steps back, the eyes open wide, they take in air to say all those là's, the lips start to round, the head swings back, and in the worst situations the shoulders rise and a puff of air or a sigh preceeds it, and of course their hands grip something with all their might (hopefully you're far away) lest that exploding OHHH take them down. The only defense, beat them at their game!!!!!! When the train strike kept me (partly) from going into work, I called up the boss and the first words out of my mouth were "Oh là là" I can't come in today. No way to get there. "Oh là là!" With all that exploding pagentry she had no time to say the inevitable "Oh là là. You" Well, sometimes I just look at France, shake my head and say "Oh là là"
Rontay