French Resolutions

This year my resolutions are strong and I have a thirst for change.  Honestly, I haven't written many posts for this blog for a few months for one simple reason.  I'm supposed to tell you wonderful stories about my life here, and since I really can't it's better for me not to write.  To be honest, I do not like Metz anymore.  I do not enjoy teaching English to people who do not wish to learn it.  Moreover, I have no desire to go out in this town anymore.  I know all the streets, shops, restaurants, cafés.  Even meeting new people here brings me no new pleasure.  It's drab routine in a climate where it rains everyday and gets dark at 4pm.  Believe me,  I wish I were not announcing this awful fact, but it's true.

My Christmas break has served me to realize I absolutely must have change, perhaps even drastic change.  For the last couple weeks, I have been working hard to get rid of as many possessions as I can.  So far I've managed to throw out about half.  The destruction actually reinvigorates me.  Have any of you ever felt the pleasure of smashing a table because it's the only way to get it out of an apartment?  My goal is to get down to 5 or 6 boxes but I'm still too far away from that.  Few belongings brings freedom, and face it, you are only mobile when you're light.  I have handed in my notice to escape my apartment and soon plan to quit every single one of my jobs.  Sometimes it takes a leap of fate, a hail mary pass for a better life.  It's possible I'll have regrets.  I really hope not.  I never thought I would identify so much with Tracy Chapman when she sang "I want a ticket to anywhere!"

My life here will always be the same.  I can have the same jobs forever, live in the same flat, buy my groceries in the same supermarket, go to the same cinema.  I do have that security in this town. I acknowledge many people would love to have it.  I have a beautiful view of the cathedral from my window.  Yet, I cannot deal with tedium anymore.  Perhaps this is what is meant by provincial life.

It won't be easy nor swift.  I'm starting as of now.  So, my lesson for you today is, remember, nothing is quick in France.  Rental contracts are not easily broken.  You must give 90 days notice before you can leave an apartment.  Getting electricity, water, phone or internet service disconnected is a headache too.  In France you have contracts with them as well.  Banking is a huge mess. It's difficult to change banks since you are assigned to one particular local agency, the one in which you opened your account.  A Banque Populaire client may not deal with another branch of the same institution.  In some cases, contracts cannot be suspended.  Monthly deposits, bills and tax payments are almost always automatic transactions in France. In addition, as you may know, work is measured out from an end date backward here, not a starting date forward.  For example, when you teach a course they give you a contract with a set number of hours already planned out. After every class you cross out one day.  I suppose it does give job security to see clearly you have guaranteed work in May, but nowadays I tend to see it more like a prison sentence.  For each class I take on, I do time until I'm free from it.  This gives a very different feeling from creating something new and original step-by-step.

All in all, I'll be around Metz for many many more months, but I shall leave.  That day will be ever so sweet!  The big question is where to next?  That, my friends, I have not figured out.  Perhaps you can give me some tips. :)